I hope this blog will be welcomed with your usual smiles, your usual vigour and your usual joie de vivre with which you all, always welcome me into your lives and with the same magnitude of verve,I invite you into my world.
The past few months have been extremely busy, but then again, when is it not busy? I’ve had a very lovely summer, enjoying some beautiful countries,exploring beautiful cities with my entire family and even friends. However,I can only speak for myself, that when I travel, rarely do I really take some time out, switch off and rejuvenate in the true sense of the word. In the midst of all this travel, I have had little or no time to cleanse my soul and revive my spirit. I often ask myself,what use is all this travelling that I am so lucky to be able to undertake, if I can’t even clean my inner being from time to time? None at all. Thats is where I go wrong ever so often.I decided that needed to change.
Over the past few months I have travelled extensively, met wonderful people, seen beautiful sights, and enjoyed scrumptious food from around the world. Yet, after all that travel, I came back home a week and half ago and felt extremely drained. I found it almost criminal to utter the words that I am exhausted.I longed for routine, for balance and for some sort of normalcy in my life. Holidays are all well and good, but at the end of my long summer holiday, I realised I had lost all patience I ever had within me and had become a walking talking monster, ready to growl at anyone who came in front of my eyes.My husband pointed out to me that I was turning into exactly the sort of human being that I detested. Harsh words but so true! I was almost working my way up the ladder of being a bully and god knows best that if there is one thing I dislike, bullies would top that list! I might sound like I am exaggerating just a little, but I promise, I am not. It was bad. Pretty bad. I had lost all focus. All sense of purpose and all sense of a goal. Turning into a monster one step at a time.
My best friend visited me last week and she was stunned to hear me, and my lack of patience in any or every situation. I felt cheated when she didn’t understand my perspective. In hindsight, I am glad she didn’t understand. For that would have meant that she would have allowed my illogical and irrational behaviour to continue for longer. Putting me against the wall at gun point, she reminded me how ungrateful I was sounding. I begged her to understand that it wasn’t first world issues that worried me. However, not being able to give myself any time off from everything, simply drained me. We eventually met halfway on our perspectives, and we came to realise that I feel so susceptible to people’s energy, that every time I come close to a situation that drains me of energy and leaves me disappointed for why humans behave the way they do, I feel lost, and as though I am walking without direction .Do you ever feel like that dear reader? I feel like one must hold on to every genuine person one finds. Our generation has so many people driven by money, ego and status. As a result, good souls are ruined daily. It is so important that we hold our head high and be conscious and willing to only connect ourselves with pure energy.
Over the last week, I have found myself doing things that allow me to put my mind and energy into things that I truly find more meaningful. Looking after my home, my husband, listening to a lot of music, reading books again, talking less and trying to listen more, working out, doing things that make me happy from within. Focusing on building a more wholesome and fruitful life, rather than a life driven by factors that have little or no meaning for me. I have tried to take some time off, to invest in myself again and by sharing this post, I do hope that on days when you feel lost and exhausted like me, you too will invest yourself into doing things that are both therapeutic and healing to your very essence and your soul.
Last week, I stumbled upon an image, an old friend of mine posted to Facebook, where Yogi Bhajan says, “If you are willing to look at another person’s behaviour towards you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all.” I have never felt more at peace about people and their illogical and irrational behaviour than I did post reading this. I hope you will find solace in these words too.
I recently met a few friends for drinks, and half way through the evening, one of my friend’s friend mentioned to me, how much she enjoyed reading my blogs, and that when I post a picture on Instagram, she looked forward to the words that flow in my caption rather than the photograph itself. To say that I was touched would be an understatement.I was overwhelmed. I am always humbled by the love that some of you shower on me. I started blogging way before blogging was the ‘in’ thing! I didn’t even know how to tell people what a blog was when I started blogging about 7 years ago. Times have changed considerably in the blogging world, but nothing has changed here; the aim is still to express and to occasionally know that someone out there is touched by my words and that my writing makes some difference. Thank you ever so much. Your love and your appreciation reminds me to attempt to write even when I least feel like doing so. My readers, thank you for being one of the avenues that I find most therapeutic investing my time in.
Until next time, stay blessed and stay true to yourself.
Love and grace,